yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
