She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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