So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
