a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
