***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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