awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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