he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
