Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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