yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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