a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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