I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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