Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize