Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
