on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
