Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
