And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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