whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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