yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want to make out with him forever
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
