This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
