life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
