I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
