I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Come share oat with me in your robe
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize