Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
