Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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