He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
