i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
