sarcasm needs its own font
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
