Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
