and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
