Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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