I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
