It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
