It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
