I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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