All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
