Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
