I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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