I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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