whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
