Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
