i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
