GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Four minutes until I can fart!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
