i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
