I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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