Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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