Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
