Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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