where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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