im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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