You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just want nice things and good sex
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
