dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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