The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
