I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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