And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize