Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
