Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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