I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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