U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize