don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize