U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize