Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
