He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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